wait.

wait. hold on. my heart screaming for this all to slow down. it cant be this. this cant be the end. heartbreaking. tears streaming down my face. hands shaking with unease. wait. cant we change it? cant you let us have one more day? cant you stop this? the frantic panic of fear is setting in. like how the fog rolls in and covers all our eyes can see. we wait. broken and sad. alone but bound together by some unseen hands. can i just have one more day? can i just have one more moment? why? the question so small but all consuming. every moment covered in the why. no answers seem to fit. no answers seem to make it ok. everything seems so divided, everyone seems so divided. you are unmoved and unchanged. you are not surpised. you werent shocked. i am. how do i go forward? thats been your call....forward. how? wait. cant we fix this? cant we have a different end? what was all the fight for if this was the end? is it all for nothing more than broken hearts and broken people? i cant move. my flesh is stinging. my heart is shattered. my soul is crying out. my eyes are filled with tears. i cant go forward anymore. i fall to the ground, the weight is too much. the only words that come are "please wait." you could make this stop. you could do it. but you didnt. so i wait. i cant stop this pain that is oozing out of the people i love; out of myself. like a bullet that pierced my heart. i cant make it stop. i cant protect the others. i cant change this. i cant see the grace that you offer. i cant find your sweetness in this. all i taste is the disgusting pride that would tear a man down. that wait for the weak to fall. vultures that circle now wanting to tear at our scared felsh. i dont see you. where are you? why didnt you step in? why didnt you stop this destruction? wait. i cant wait because im falling apart. piece by piece being torn apart more and more. stop telling me to wait! stop telling me of your faithfulness! stop letting this hurt! all thats left is the carnage left on a wake of sin. i saw it! i saw the beauty and hope! the foundations being built on you. allowed to be torn down by those hungry dogs thirsty for the blood of our souls. they anxiously awaited this day. you let them have it. why? why? im empty. im lost out in the wilderness, bleeding out. unsure of who is friend and who is foe. crying out but left to bleed. wait. thats the only word you have given. wait. there is no other choice. there are no words. there is nothing but you and me. me laying on the cold stone ground, broken apart looking up towards the sky longing for hope to return. you standing firm, saving me with unknown grace that attacks my soul. waiting for the pain to leave. waiting for the answers to come. waiting for more than the words of wait. spent and empty. angry and confused. sad and lost. only making through the knowledge that you knew. so i wait.